They Grow Up So Fast...

As Gabriel turns 18 he seems to be on a great road in life. His physical development has come along nicely and he seems to be very advanced in his athletic skills. His love of baseball has really given him the opportunity to excel. Cognitively, he has developed greatly in these last few years. His emotional development is much better than it was when Gabriel was a child. He now comes to his friends and family with problems and seeks advice when needed instead of bottling everything up and being unhappy alone. He is also very confident in his morality and has strong opinions on what he believes is right and wrong.

I think that my constant involvement in every aspect of Gabriel’s life has made a great impact. Gabriel has always been a very social child but I don’t think that if I hadn’t encouraged him to meet new people and experience new things that he would have stuck to his few close friends and familiar experiences. He also has a lot of musical talent but if I hadn’t encouraged the development of his musical skills, he would have stopped at the middle school level. The same is true with his athletic ability and baseball. Also, I don’t think his moral development would have come also so far if Gabriel hadn’t been able to talk to me about all of his ideas and thoughts about morality and the world.

I think that Gabriel’s moodiness was probably influenced by his genes and thankfully he has learned to control his moods more now. Also, his athletic ability has probably been influenced by his genes. I think that his social personality has been influenced mostly by his genes but also by middle-class American culture. His love of material objects is partly because of his age and wanting to impress his peers.

Hello Temptation!

Gabriel has been playing piano pretty seriously over the past two years. He accompanies himself on the piano and sings very well. We encourage his musical abilities and recently he has been given the position of lead soloist in the school orchestra. Gabriel has also done well in all of his math and science classes, and now really finds 11th grade physics to be quite interesting. We are hoping that Gabriel will pursue a career in music or science as those two seem to be his favorite subjects. Whatever Gabriel decides will be fine with us.

Socially, Gabriel is extremely active and the social aspect of his life is very important to him. At 14 years old, Gabriel started coming home very upset because of the occasional fight with a friend. Once he started high school, he soon had a very busy social calendar, including hanging out with some new friends, and getting involved in a couple of social activist clubs. He would often have friends over after school. When there are problems with his friends he becomes angry or rebellious. When Gabriel turned 16, he had a break-up with his girlfriend of three months and was distraught for two weeks. His emotions are easily influenced by his social interactions.

Gabriel is adjusting to teenage life with a few bumps along the way. Recently, Gabriel came home from a party smelling of marijuana. When asked about it he replied that he would never do something that would affect his performance in baseball, and I believed him. I praised him for that attitude. He has told small lies about where he was to save himself from embarrassment and again, we remind him of our rules without punishment. Gabriel has been dating someone for 2 months now and I am a little worried about how intimate this relationship will become. Gabriel says that he's in love. My husband had a talk with Gabriel and tried to convince him that he should wait until they are more mature, and surer of the relationship to engage in sex. However, just in case, he talked to Gabriel about safe sex, condoms, and birth control. One night, Gabriel called home around 4am and asked to be picked up from a party. While I praised him for calling me and not attempting to drive home drunk, I did ground him for one week and scolded him for underage drinking, which he knew was wrong. Gabriel is also trying to exert his independence by spending time with his girlfriend without telling us where they were going. While we are lenient with Gabriel about making mistakes and learning from them, we are strict and clear in our expectations of Gabriel.

Adolescence is tough...

Since Gabriel was 12, he has been growing fast and eating a lot of food so we have bought healthier snacks to put in his backpack to promote healthier eating. He also starting going to after-school tutoring to boost his academic scores and to get help with homework in addition to his many extra-curricular activities. When Gabriel turned 14, he tried out for the high school baseball team and made it! He also went camping with some friends over the summer and learned a little tennis from his uncle.

Gabriel began to argue with my partner and me more in 7th grade. He would argue mostly about clothes, bedtime, and chores. We have since renegotiated household rules and have given him a later bedtime in exchange for more chores. Gabriel is struggling a little in school but acts bored or angry when we try to talk about it or help him with homework assignments. He has his daily ups and downs, sometimes coming home from school cheerful and friendly, and sometimes sullen and cranky. The transition to high school has been occasionally stressful for Gabriel. He sometimes gets angry or rebellious. Usually it is because of something hurtful a friend said or because of problems in school, such as lost homework. Usually he retreats to his room. My husband and I listen to the problem and provide similar stories from our own teen years to show Gabriel that his experiences are not unique. Usually we end up laughing about it. We tell Gabriel stories of what we were like as teenagers because we are hoping that he will learn from our mistakes.