They Grow Up So Fast...

Gabriel is starting to go through puberty and it is plain to see! Gabriel has begun to argue with my husband and I more and more. He argues mostly about wanting more "cool" clothes, wanting a later bedtime, and not wanting to do his chores, but otherwise we all get along pretty well. He also seems to be acting out a little more lately and recently there was an incident with him and his friends throwing things at a passing car. He has become a lot more moody and he tends to act bored or angry when I try to talk to him or help him with homework assignments. He has his ups and downs during the week, sometimes coming home from school cheerful and friendly, and sometimes sullen and cranky. He is developing some moral principles, which I am glad about. He talks quite often about what is "fair" and "not fair". Gabriel is starting to notice girls more, but has not said anything openly about it. He has become more interested in his appearance than he ever was before and he is almost obsessed with looking cool.

I would characterize Gabriel as a resilient child. He is sullen and moody sometimes but always snaps out of it. He is a cheerful and happy child most of the time. Gabriel is self confident and relaxed in social situations and at home he has two warm parents that love to spend time with him. I don’t really think there have been any changes in this since Gabriel was younger. He has always been a very self-reliant child and can easily cope with problems.

Overall, Gabriel is still a pretty average student. He excels in the arts but his reading, writing and math are lacking. His word reading, spelling and writing skills are strong but he got C's in 7th grade English and Social Studies, as well as in Spanish. He got a C in 7th grade math and a B in Science. The teacher thought that he could do better with more studying and some tutoring in math so we decided to get him a tutor in the hopes that his grades will improve. Gabriel got all A’s in art, chorus and band, and a note of appreciation for his fine efforts from both the chorus teacher and the band director. In addition to the tutor for Gabriel, we have allowed him to subscribe to educational children’s magazines in an effort to interest him in these subjects more. We are hoping that if he is more interested in these subjects he will retain information better.

There's Still Work to Do!

Overall, I think Gabriel is pretty average academically. He seems to be doing great in reading and spelling. At 6, Gabriel could communicate in grammatically correct sentences for the most part, and had a large vocabulary. When tested at age 8 and recently at age 10, he is still showing that he "Demonstrates strength" in all areas of reading, and in spelling and "appropriate for grade level" in writing. I have tried very hard to encourage reading on a daily basis and take the time to converse about some of the funnier or more interesting moments in the books he is reading. Sometimes we read the same book and then discuss it. He has consistently struggled with speaking and listening and unfortunately is still scoring at "Requires additional support" in the areas of speaking and listening. At 6, Gabriel was working at grade level in math and science but wasn’t particularly interested in these topics in school. At 8, Gabriel's scores on math concepts and math application problems were below average, and the math computation score was slightly below average. At 10, Gabriel is still in grade-level math, and sometimes gets stuck on problems. He really just doesn’t enjoy math and despite our efforts to make it more relevant and interesting to him, he’s not doing great. He is still scoring "Appropriate for grade level" in the areas of mathematical problem solving, understanding of data, number concepts, graphical applications, and arithmetic computation. We encourage him and when he’s doing homework try to help clear up any misunderstandings. Since he was 8, Gabriel has shown some talent and interest in drawing and constructing things, and even now he always seems to be drawing interesting cartoons and sketching faces or scenes. He has consistently scored "Appropriate for grade level" in the area of art.

Gabriel has always done really well in social situations. We encourage him to play with many different children and participate in group sports. At school he is quite popular and we let him invite his friends from school over on the weekends. At home he is really good with his little sister and has gotten better at playing with girls in general. He has gone from tolerant to willing to play with girls, even if that is not his first preference. He has never shown any signs of behavior or emotional problems at home and has never shown any sign on tests.

I don’t think my parenting style has changed at all since preschool. I believe I have been consistently firm yet affectionate. I am clear to lay down the rules and what is expected of Gabriel, but at the same time I am quick to praise for good behavior and success in school. I believe in coregulation and I try to give Gabriel freedom to develop his social skills and follow his interests while still overseeing what is going on his life.

Eight is great!

Gabriel is a little below average with his verbal skills but is doing great in reading. Since second grade, Gabriel has been able to sound out almost any word, and now only occasionally gets stuck when reading aloud. His scores from the psychologist’s report were in the average to above average range in word reading, reading fluency, phonological awareness and spelling. Gabriel's scores on the Verbal portion of the Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children were: Information (8), Vocabulary (8), Similarities (7), and Comprehension (7). So we definitely still have some progress to make! Gabriel is doing reasonably well in 3rd grade math from what I can see, but he doesn't seem to like math all that much. He seems to like the hands on science experiments most of all. I think his disinterest is the reason for his low scores. Gabriel's scores on the math concepts and math application problems were below average, and the math computation score was slightly below average. Gabriel really enjoys drawing and designing things like houses and cars and he loves to work with his hands building models or things out of clay or paper mache. Gabriel's scores in spatial skills were above average. Gabriel’s affinity towards music has surprised us! He is improving in his musical skills every day. Gabriel has been taking piano lessons for two years and reads and plays well by ear. He also sings in a choir. We are so proud! Now he wants to take part in the instrumental music program at the school and we recently got him a saxophone. Gabriel has enjoyed soccer and baseball over the past two seasons, and wants to continue in both. He has always been a very active child and since he started playing organized sports we have even seen a decrease in the amount of time that Gabriel is sick.

When Gabriel was six he began to classify activities as “boy” and “girl” things. He would often play with boys only during recesses at school. While a popular child in his class, he didn’t interact with girls his age very much. He loved his little sister and spending time with her but she was still too young to actively play with him. This was pretty common at his age. He loved to imitate his father and spend time with him as much as he could, which we greatly supported, while also encouraging him to try out many different kinds of activities, not just “boy” things. At age 8, Gabriel still plays mainly with other boys but he is much more tolerant of girls than his friends. I think that this is because of our encouragement to follow his interest wherever it goes. We believe that whatever his interests are, we will support him. He is a great big brother to his little sister but still prefers “boy” activities. This is well in line with typical American attitudes and we believe that this is a result of his innate personality as well as his environment. We let Gabriel choose whatever interests suit him as well as activities that we believe will be beneficial to him in the future. He is a very active child so sports were an obvious conclusion and when he started to show an interest in music we encouraged him to follow his passion. We tend to site with the typical attitude that males should be more masculine but if that is not the case with him we let him know that we will love him regardless of his choices. This is because of our own background. My husband and I both have very liberal and supportive families that allowed us to follow whatever interested us as children.

If Gabriel has been raised by someone with a different socioeconomic or cultural background he may have much lower scores in reading, musical ability, and possible behavior problems. When Gabriel was younger his reading scores were way below average and if he had been raised by a family that didn’t place so much emphasis on reading or that didn’t have the money to supply Gabriel will lots of diverse reading materials he may not be doing as well as he is doing now. He really enjoys reading now and we attribute that to our influence. He also shows great skill in music and if he had been raised by a family that didn’t believe that music was an important skill or that didn’t have the extra income to buy Gabriel an instrument, his musical talents may never have been developed. Also, Gabriel is a very active child with a tendency toward physical activity and had he not been raised by a family with very structured rules that gave him an outlet for his energy, he may have been diagnosed with ADD or at least developed a problem with his impulsivity. If he had been raised by a family in poverty he may not have received the nutrition required to sustain such an active child. If Gabriel wasn’t exercising so regularly, he may have become sick more often and possibly obese as time went on.

Always improving!

Gabriel is doing great socially. At school he is very popular and always has a friend to talk about at home. My husband and I recently decided to engage Gabriel is some afterschool activities at the recreation center to further broaden his social network. He is great with his little sister and very rarely gets upset. He has no emotional problems, but can take a little while to calm down after getting upset. I think this is due to some recent arguments my husband and I have been having but we have assured Gabriel that we love him and his sister very much and that these arguments don’t change that. We are trying to keep these arguments from him and hoping that his behavior gets even better.

Gabriel has shown steady improvement in his cognitive skills. At 4 years old, Gabriel was a typical preschooler cognitively speaking. He didn’t really understand conservation or seriation. However, he asked questions about animals, nature, and how things work. He also liked simple board games with dice or other counting games. We wanted to accelerate Gabriel's thinking skills, so we introduced new games when we thought he would enjoy them. Now I think all that patience has paid off. At almost seven years old, Gabriel's memory is getting better. He is great at memory games such as Concentration because he remembers where the cards are located. He still has a little trouble sometimes and when he tells people about things that happened to him, he leaves a lot of details out and sometimes gets the order wrong. I try to join in the retelling of the experience, prompting Gabriel with questions, rather than just telling it myself.

His language skills have also improved. At 4 years old, Gabriel had already learned most of the letters and their sounds from watching educational TV, and from games and songs at preschool. He could write his own name and read a few words. He was very interested in listening to books. Now, Gabriel is communicating in grammatically correct sentences for the most part, and has a vocabulary that's steadily expanding. In first grade, he really seems to be taking off, and is reading first and even second grade books. We are great he has found a love of reading and encourage this whenever possible.

So far it seems that Gabriel has no special needs when it comes to these developmental areas. We are going to continue working with Gabriel to improve his skills and we believe he will continue to develop appropriately.

Gabriel has been a very physically active child since he was younger. He has always enjoyed running and playing and being rambunctious. This is still true and my husband and I have recently enrolled Gabriel in soccer and baseball to allow Gabriel a place to be active. He also continues to be avidly curious about the world around him and we continue to try to take Gabriel to new places and give him hands on activities to learn from. While Gabriel has always enjoyed music and dancing, he recently has shown great talent in music and we have enrolled him in piano and singing lessons to try to develop these skills more.

Almost Time for Kindergarten...

I would describe my parenting style as affectionate but firm. I try to give Gabriel praise often for good behavior and improving his skills, but I am clear and firm when he disobeys or displays a behavior I don’t approve of. I also try to give him every opportunity to learn from his surroundings, doing what I can to answer all questions and requests for certain activities. When Gabriel was younger, I was a little less sure about how to handle Gabriel’s misbehavior. Now that I know to be affectionate but firm, Gabriel has seen a great improvement. I also do my best to help him with his language skills because those are the skills he has the most difficulty with. One of those ways has been to read to him daily, just as my parents did with me when I was a child. We also try to take as many trips to interesting places as possible as a family so that Gabriel and his little sister bond with my husband and I while learning new things as this was tradition when I was growing up.

Some changes have occurred since Gabriel has turned 4. Gabriel is now beginning to like counting and board games and Gabriel has age-appropriate skills in counting, classifying and understanding quantitative relationships. This is a great improvement from the basic skills he had before of just categorizing objects at 20 months old. He doesn't quite understand conservation or seriation yet, but he still loves asking questions about animals, nature, and how things work. I have noticed Gabriel more and more set in his ideas about gender roles too. I believe this is an increase in his self awareness. He refuses to play with anything other than “boy toys”. While he is still below average on tests of receptive and expressive vocabulary, Gabriel’s literacy skills have grown. Gabriel has already learned most of the letters and their sounds from watching educational TV, and from games and songs at preschool. He can write his own name, read a few words, and is very interested in listening to books.

I believe that Gabriel is a resilient child. He is usually in a positive mood, and seems to be able to handle the ups and downs of the day. He seems to be able to avoid conflicts and arguments with the other children. He is also a very sweet and cooperative child. In preschool he picked up the classroom and playground rules pretty well. Occasionally he gets upset by negative events or overly excited by positive events and becomes a little wild and needs to be calmed down. If a particularly stressful situation comes up, Gabriel will get upset for a while but soon move on and forget about it. So far an amazing child!